Alright, let’s talk about humpin’ pillows, ya know? Some folks, they get all shy about it, but it’s natural as breathin’, ain’t it? So, let’s get down to business, the best ways to hump a pillow, just like you asked.
First off, you gotta get comfy. Find yourself a good spot, maybe your bed, maybe the couch, wherever you feel most relaxed. And get yourself a pillow, or two, or three! It ain’t gotta be nothin’ fancy, just somethin’ soft and squishy. I reckon a big ol’ body pillow works real good, gives ya somethin’ to hold onto, ya know?
- Belly Down Style: Now, this is a good one. Lie on your belly, put them pillows under your hips, kinda prop yourself up. Then, you just, well, you just start movin’. Rub yourself against that pillow, back and forth, up and down. You can use your hands too, help things along, if you catch my drift. Some folks like to use a toy too, but that ain’t for everyone. You do what feels right, that’s what I always say.
- Backside Boogie: This one’s kinda like the first, but you’re on your back. Prop your head up with a pillow, spread your legs, bend your knees. And then, you get to rubbin’. Rub that special spot, you know the one I mean. Fast, slow, however you like it. It’s all about what gets you feelin’ good. You can squeeze your thighs together too, that adds a little somethin’ extra.
- Side Saddle Shuffle: This ain’t for everyone, but some folks swear by it. Lie on your side, put a pillow between your legs. And then, you kinda just… wiggle. Wiggle and rub against that pillow. It’s a different feelin’, a little more subtle maybe, but it can be mighty nice. You can use your hands here too, reach around, you know.
And listen, there ain’t no right or wrong way to do this. It’s all about findin’ what you like. Experiment a little. Try different positions, different speeds, different pillows. Maybe you like it fast, maybe you like it slow. Maybe you like a lot of pressure, maybe you like it gentle. It’s your body, your pleasure, you get to decide.
Some folks, they like to watch themselves while they do it, use a little hand mirror, see what’s goin’ on. Others like to touch their neck, or squeeze their thighs. It’s all about findin’ them little things that make it extra special for you. And don’t be afraid to try different things, that’s what I tell my grandkids. Life’s too short to be boring, in bed or out of it!
Now, if you’re usin’ somethin’ other than your hands, like a toy or somethin’, make sure it’s clean, ya hear? Nobody wants to get sick from a dirty toy, that’s just common sense. Wash it good with soap and water, or whatever it says on the package. And if you’re usin’ a condom, well, that ain’t really for pillows now, is it? But if you’re usin’ it on another part of your body, make sure you put it on right, before you start playin’ around.
And listen, there ain’t no shame in this. It’s natural, it’s healthy, and it’s a whole lot of fun. Some girls, they say humpin’ a pillow feels even better than the real thing. And hey, even if you got a partner, there’s nothin’ wrong with a little pillow humpin’ now and then. It’s your body, your business. Don’t let nobody tell you different.
So, there you have it, the best ways to hump a pillow, from an old woman who’s seen a thing or two. Go on, give it a try. You might just surprise yourself. And remember, be safe, be clean, and most importantly, have fun! That’s what life’s all about, ain’t it? Findin’ a little joy wherever you can, even if it’s just with a pillow and yourself.