Well, howdy there! Let me tell you, it’s been colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra lately, you hear? Makes you wanna just curl up under a pile of quilts and stay there till spring thaw. Folks are sayin’ all sorts of things about how cold it is, and some of ’em are right funny, I tell ya.
It’s So Cold… Jokes and Sayings
You know, like they say, “It’s so cold, the politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!” Ha! Ain’t that the truth? Or how about this one: “It’s so cold, I saw a dog chasing a cat, and they were both walkin’!” Makes you chuckle, don’t it?
- It’s colder than a well-digger’s butt in January.
- It’s so cold, the squirrels are wearin’ mittens.
- It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s stare.
The young’uns these days, they got their own sayings too. My grandson told me one the other day, said, “It’s so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!” See? Even the young’uns know how cold it is when them lawyers ain’t tryin’ to get your money.
And you know, it ain’t just cold, it’s the kind of cold that makes your bones ache. My old joints are creakin’ and crackin’ like a rusty gate. Makes me wanna say, “It’s so cold, my teeth are chatterin’ like a squirrel on a telephone wire!”
Wintertime Fun and Frolics (or Not!)
Now, some folks, they like the winter. They go out skatin’ and sleddin’ and whatnot. Me? I prefer to stay inside where it’s warm. I ain’t built for that cold weather no more. I’d rather be sittin’ by the fire with a cup of hot cocoa, than be out there freezin’ my tail off. Makes me think, “It’s so cold, the fire’s wearin’ a sweater!”
But I gotta give it to them young’uns, they got energy. They go out there and build snowmen and have snowball fights. Reminds me of a joke I heard: “Why don’t snowmen get married? ‘Cause they always get cold feet!” Silly, I know, but it makes you smile.
Staying Warm and Comfy
So how do you stay warm when it’s colder than a polar bear’s toenails? Well, you layer up, that’s what you do. Long johns, sweaters, coats, hats, gloves… the whole shebang. And you eat hearty food, like stew and chili. Nothin’ like a warm belly to fight off the chill. Like they say, “It’s so cold, you gotta wear three pairs of socks just to go to the bathroom!” And even then, sometimes it ain’t enough.
You know, this weather makes you appreciate the simple things in life. A warm house, a hot meal, a good laugh… that’s all you really need. And maybe a few good “it’s so cold” jokes to keep your spirits up. Like, “It’s so cold, the chickens are laying ice cubes!”
More Jokes to Warm Your Heart (or at Least Make You Chuckle)
Here’s a few more I heard down at the general store. “It’s so cold, I chipped a tooth on my soup.” Or how about, “It’s so cold, the words are comin’ out of my mouth frozen, I gotta microwave ’em before you can hear ’em!” Some of ’em are kinda silly, but they make you forget about the cold for a little bit.
And then there are those sayings, you know, the ones your grandma used to say. Like, “It’s colder than a banker’s heart.” Or, “It’s so cold, the cows are givin’ ice cream instead of milk.” Makes you think of the old days, when things were simpler, and maybe even colder.
Weathering the Winter Together
But hey, we’ll get through it. We always do. Just gotta bundle up, stay warm, and keep a sense of humor. And remember, no matter how cold it gets, spring will always come eventually. Until then, keep tellin’ those jokes. “It’s so cold, I saw a politician keep a promise!” Ha! Now that’s a cold day indeed! And like they say around here, “it’s so cold out there, even the sun is wearing a scarf!” Stay warm, y’all!
Final thought
So, whether you’re bundled up inside or braving the cold outdoors, remember to keep a warm heart and a sense of humor. A good laugh can go a long way in chasing away the winter blues. And if all else fails, just tell yourself, “It’s so cold, it could freeze the tail off a brass monkey!” That ought to make you smile, even if your teeth are chattering like a pair of castanets.
Tags: [Colder Than Jokes, Cold Weather Humor, Funny Winter Sayings, It’s So Cold, Winter Jokes]